Friday, February 6, 2009

Nice Definitions

School: A place where Papa pays and
Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that
keeps you poor all your life so that
you can die Rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to
give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a
man loses his bachelor degree and a
woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Lecture: An art of transferring
information from the notes of the
Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of
either"

Conference: The confusion of one man
multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a
cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary : A place where success
comes before work.

Conference Room : A place where
everybody talks, nobody listens and
everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the
rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you
are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand
before elections and your Confidence
after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills
by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise,
but do not read.

Smile : A curve that can set a lot of
things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax
after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men
ever get to open their mouth.

Etc .: A sign to make others believe
that you know more than you actually
do.

Committee: Individuals who can do
nothing individually and sit to decide
that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their
mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all
inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments
himself during life, to be spoken of
when dead

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