Management

Letter From The Penis



Dear Management,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise
in salary for the following reasons:

1- I do physical labor
2- I work at great depths
3- I plunge head first into everything
I do
4- I do not get weekends or public
holidays off
5- I work in a damp environment
6- I don't get paid overtime
7- I work in a dark workplace that has
poor ventilation
8- I work in high temperatures
9- My work exposes me to contagious
diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and
considering the arguments you have
raised, the administration rejects
your request for the following reasons:

1- You can not work 8 hours straight
2- You fall asleep on the job after
brief work periods
3- You do not always follow the orders
of the management team
4- You do not stay in your designated
area and are often seen visiting other
locations
5- You do not take initiative -- you
need to be pressured and stimulated in
order to start working
6- You leave the workplace rather
messy at the end of your shift
7- You don't always observe necessary
safety regulations, such as wearing
the correct protective gear
8- You will retire well before you are
65
9- You are unable to work double shifts
10- You sometimes leave your
designated work before you have
completed the assigned task
11- And if that were not enough, you
have been seen constantly entering and
exiting the workplace carrying two
suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,
The Management